It was the first week in July 2017. Our church had dedicated the entire month of July to family time. I was super excited. We had planned a few things that we were going to do. Well, a few days before the 4th, we got into an argument- nothing major. It was about driving to Georgia. This was not like us. I knew that this was the enemy trying to wreak havoc in our marriage, but nonetheless we allowed him in. So for about a week, we went around the house not talking. I’m sure you are saying “No, not the Basses!” Yessss, we are human just like everyone else, and we have to work at our marriage just like everyone else. The enemy is busy and doesn’t care how long you’ve been married. Anywho, we didn’t talk. I wanted to talk, but I didn’t want to make the first move. I felt that since he was wrong (at least in my eyes) he should have made the first move and apologized. That didn’t happen. We eventually started talking. I’m not sure who started first but I learned a few things from that experience:
1. Go to God first when you are angry or hurt. I thought that I had gotten over using the silent treatment. We had this problem early in our marriage. It was a frequent occurrence back then not to talk. So I thought we had gotten over it.
2. Don’t use the silent treatment to manipulate the situation. I just knew he would suffer the most if I didn’t talk to him. Wrong, it harmed both of us.
3. You can’t get back time - an entire week to be exact. We allowed the enemy to steal moments from our life - from our marriage.
4. Be honest and humble when communicating. I had to learn that there are no winners or losers. We both hurt when there’s an unresolved issue in our marriage.
5. He’s not the enemy. We often hear that our husbands are not the enemy, and that’s so true. He’s not. The enemy wants to destroy marriages, and he will use whatever means necessary to do so. When you realize that the battle is not against your spouse, then your fight will be directed at the right person.
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